TestTube Motors announced its latest innovation at a press conference Monday: passengerless vehicles. "I always thought it would be awesome to have a fleet of ultra- cool-looking cars that just drive around endlessly for no reason with nobody in them," company founder and CEO Pilon Mollusc was quoted as saying. "We've already gone as far as driverless cars - why not take it a step further and get rid of the passengers as well?" he added.
Mollusc demurred when confronted with the opinion that this would largely defeat the purpose of buying or owning a car. "It's a safety feature," he explained. "We'll never have to recall any of these vehicles because there isn't anyone in them to complain. And, uh, yeah, rumors that they would actually be driven remotely by Russian political prisoners from an underground bunker in Siberia are bogus. They would really drive themselves."
Details of how soon these vehicles would be produced, the size of the fleet and the projected cost to US taxpayers were not available at press time.
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